[The Zombie Marxist Cookbook cont'd]
FLOWER We're putting up a website. Could use a real writer like you.
TANNER Is there money in it?
FLOWER We are able to pay a little. Say, twenty for a published article.
TANNER Twenty? Wow. I'm in.
FLOWER Great. I brought you some material. Check them out, and I'll get back to you at the end of the week. If you're able to cook something up before that, even better. Hit me with an email then. My address should be in there somewhere. Anyway, it's easy: "flow" like the festival, "sho" like sure, written in Faulknerian...
TANNER Um, ex...
FLOWER ... or shore minus (re mi fa so la si do).
TANNER ... scuse me, I don't...
FLOWER But I'm babbling. At chomskyite dot fi.
FLOWER Chomskyite. You know who Chomsky is? Don't you?
TANNER Yes. Yes.
TANNER The most important intellectual of our time. Living. The most important living intellectual of...
FLOWER I got it. Thank you.
TANNER How... You allowed to use his name, or just...
FLOWER We are.
TANNER You know him? Chomsky?
FLOWER Not personally, no.
TANNER You write to him? He writes to you?
FLOWER Well, let's just say we have his recognition.
TANNER Oh wow. I'll get right into it. I'll start studying, like, yesterday.
FLOWER Good. Well, I better not keep you occupied any longer...
TANNER No. Haha. Occupied, hahaha. Very funny. One more thing, though, before you go.
FLOWER Yes? What is it?
TANNER I can't use the computer.
TANNER Or the phone.
TANNER Whatever. I don't use ‘em.
FLOWER May I ask why? No, let me guess...
TANNER They have been "contaminated", I'm afraid.
FLOWER Been watching too much porn lately?
TANNER No! It's the, I don't know, uh...
TANNER CIA, I think.
FLOWER You mean NSA.
TANNER That's right. The Snowden crew. Greenwald et cetera. No, not them. The ones they're afterr.
FLOWER I see.
TANNER Do you?
FLOWER I think I do. And here's what we'll to do. I'll stop by again on Friday. You give me what you got, and I give you some new stuff to look into. Does that sound okay?
FLOWER And remember what you wrote yourself. About eating the whale.
TANNER One bite at a time.
FLOWER Exactly. Destroy your opponents, one by one.
TANNER If you say so.
FLOWER I do. See you on Friday!
TANNER And so my deal with the Devil was sealed. I started leafing through the so-called stuff, the propaganda she left competing with the opiate effects of her lingering perfume. I had grave difficulties concentrating. The genocide of Native Americans... meaning Indians, I suppose. Being a cowboy myself, I'll have to pass. The imperialistic war waged by the West in East Timor... What is this East Femur they can't shut their gabs about? Almost wish I could go to Google and check it out. The short history of Russia... Heaven help me, no. The short history of the People's Republic of China... What the hell am I supposed to make of these? Chinese rhymes with cheese.
Tim Buckley – I've been Out Walking
FLOWER What you got?
TANNER It's a riot seeing you, too. Sit down.
FLOWER Wow. Where'd you get this?
TANNER I wrote it.
FLOWER No, I mean...
TANNER Maybe I broke into the Ministry for Foreign Affairs. In the old way.
FLOWER It's, it's...
TANNER Thick? I know there's a layer or two too many. I'm just a beginner when it comes to graffiti. Can you call it a graffiti if it's not on a wall?
FLOWER It's quite funny.
FLOWER Seriously. I mean it.
TANNER Now who would’ve thought that “Paint It Black” actually had a message?
FLOWER Let's see now.
TANNER How to win the hearts of beautiful young ladies. Even if it's only an envelope.
FLOWER “The most important battle these days is taking place on two fronts simultaneously...”
TANNER Maybe that's what it is, an envelope.
FLOWER “From within the criminal enterprise we call corporate capitalism...”
TANNER The heart, that is. Joint.
FLOWER “And from without.”
TANNER Criminal enterprise. Of beautiful women.
FLOWER “If we remember one thing...”
FLOWER “... from the history of the Third Reich, or the fantasies of omnipotence followed to their bitter end...”
TANNER Young, beautiful women.
FLOWER “... by another little emperor, the one from the 19th century, it should be this.”
TANNER Never fuck with the elements. Or, having made up your mind about fucking with them, make sure they are not Russian elements. In that case, put a bullet in your brain. It’s faster, more effective, and nearly painless, compared to the abyss of despair you are about to plunge yourself into...
FLOWER We can’t use this.
TANNER Hell. That is hell as we know it. Why not?
FLOWER Too high-brow. Too obscure. What the hell happened? I understood you were writing about China?
TANNER I was.
FLOWER And that line about Russia, that was the last straw. Under no circumstances can we run a line like that. Are you out of your mind, or what?
TANNER It is not about Russia. It’s the elements.
FLOWER Do not tell me what it is! I am fully aware of what it is!
TANNER Touched a nerve there, did I? FLOWER This is it. We’re done.