(Inside me, it was...)


Vlad the Bullshit Artist... and His Ilk

Today I saw the guy with the Vlad Tepes t-shirt twice. The second time, at the grocery, I built up my courage and asked him if he knew who Mehmet the Conquerer was. He said he did. He had learned his history. I showed him my shirt. Mehmet turned around, I explained, once he came upon an odd woods, a forest of sorts, courtesy of...

The guy cut me off. He had read his history books, all right. What he wanted to know was why I was wearing a Mehmet t-shirt.

The guy was barely containing his anger. Or so it seemed to me. I said I had received the shirt as a gift. I failed to mention that I also found the story of Vlad and Mehmet and the forest of the impaled... er, hilarious.

I never asked why he wore a Vlad Tepes shirt. Hell, I knew.

I have killed peasants men and women, old and young, who lived at Oblucitza and Novoselo, where the Danube flows into the sea, up to Rahova, which is located near Chilia, from the lower Danube up to such places as Samovit and Ghighen. We killed 23,884 Turks without counting those whom we burned in homes or the Turks whose heads were cut by our soldiers.... Thus, your highness, you must know that I have broken the peace with him [Mehmed II]. 


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